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I write, dream, and devour science fiction and fantasy.

projectshadow.com

oursolemnhour.com

www.dragonsofnight.com

www.ashdancer.com

I don't know how to talk to people anymore.

1 min read

Since the election, I've tried to open a dialogue with people who see the world so different from me only to find that we don't live in the same world . I'be been shocked at how little the care about facts or others. 

How do you talk to people who reject not only the facts, but who also see your emotions as invalid. I try to listen, but I have a loud mouth, and sometimes I share my feelings as raw as they are. 

How do you deal honestly with people that want to rip your opinions and feelings up, ignoring the facts in front of them. Posts have timestamps...

i just don't believe in my country anymore, but I do believe in people. I know people can change. I have and I know many who have. Things will get better, but I am so afraid it will get a lot worse before then. 

Have courage. Hate burns itself out. Love and compassion are endless springs. 

Just love each other and stop the madness.

1 min read

With everything going on in the country right now, it is hard to let go of my anxiety so I can get to work.  I am so worried that tomorrow my country will elect a man who will take what few human rights I have away from me.  That might sound extreme, but when one candidate boasts that he will undo all the advancements your people have made and attack the rights of others... it is hard not to be nervous.

How did we get to this place?  How is it that half the country hates the other half?  What can we do to possibly bring back compassion and sanity in a country so divided?

It hurts my soul.  I hurts so deeply that I don't even know what to do with myself.  This is a scary time, but we have to do everything we can to build compassion in ourselves and others.  Love is the only cure for all this hate and fear.

Love each other today, because no one is promised a tomorrow.

This week was a struggle, but the fight is always worth it.

1 min read

I've faced my usual enemies of loneliness, anxiety, and depression, but I have pressed on.

Shatter Me is coming along better than I had hoped.  I am not writing as fast I want, but I am fleshing out every idea as I go to make sure the story has the depth I want it to have.  Soon, I am going to have to start the process of finding Beta Readers so I can edit chapter by chapter.

This will be my first book to have an accompanying audiobook, so I need to start making preparation for that.

So much going on, I can't wait to get this story out.  I love Ava, and I hope you all will too.

Why don't people just talk?

1 min read

I know I don't understand people, but today just proves that to me more than ever.  Why would people expect situations to magically get better when they do nothing to improve the situation until they just can't take it anymore and snap?

I make myself available to talk, and  some people take me up on the offer, but the people who need it the most stay clammed up.  Do people think I am a liar?  Do I come off as someone who is dishonest?  What is it about me that makes people think I am disingenuous?

So, I suppose I should just accept that.  I have no power over how others view or treat me.  I should just expect that as long as I live here, this is how things are.  After all, I've tried so many things over the las 12 years.  The only thing that has changed is me.

It is time to embrace life as it is.  I once thought about being a hermit, and this is the universe giving that to me.  So much more time to write.

Today has been a rough and challenging day

1 min read

I don't want to go into all of the details, but today has been not been a good one.  I haven't been this stressed in a long time, but I know it is probably worse for Brian.

Over the years, I think I have gotten better at dealing with days like today, but I am at my limit.  I've don't my breathing and my relaxation exercises, but every time I calm down, something else happens.  I am not sure what else I can do other than just bow to the way things are and weather the storm.

It will get better.  It always does.  This is just a moment in time where events have clustered to make things feel this way.  Tomorrow will be better.

I started a journal for the new book. So many new ideas after the trip.

1 min read

As usual, I am back in the allergy capital of America, but the writing must go on. The ideas are flowing, but I am not sure how I want to share them. 

Since I am hand writing them in noteshelf, I could either post a gallery of images or export them as a PDF. Choices. Haha. 

Tge story/stories will be scifi in my Our Solemn Hour setting. We saw 6 foxes on the trip, and I am taking that as a sign for what I should work on. 

Hopefully, it will start as a series of short stories so I have something to post soon. If it going to be a book, then I will post chapter by chapter. 

It hasn't been easy getting back into my regular routine after the best Shore Leave I have ever attended. Life feels like a bit of a let down after all that fun. I suppose I just need to make my way to more conventions. 😇

I just hope the world building happening now will break into new stories soon. 

Writing is editing, but nothing is ever perfect.

1 min read

So, I was up until 7 am working on an expanded version of Wand and Weaver: The Chain.  There was so much that I wanted to say and do with that book, and I am taking some time to flesh it out.  It was a hard decision to do this, but I really feel like I need to do it.

In a way, this is like making a director's cut.  I am restoring deleted scenes and answering some questions you all have asked me.

Don't worry, I am still working on new stories.  I've added some words to A Study in Shadows which takes place during The Chain, and that is part of what spured me to do the expansion and partial rewrite.  Some of the scenes I thought should be in the book rather than in the side story.

I need some beta readers, so if you are interested.  It is time to get back to writing. 

When is it time to share? Bit by bit or as a collection?

1 min read

So, I have been writing song lyrics lately.  I've become obsessed with a fictional band in my Dragons of Night world.  Now, I am three songs and two album covers in, and can't stop thinking about.  My big question is when should I start sharing them?

Part of me wants to share each one as I write it, and part wants wait until I have an album's worth of lyrics and share then.  I had a dream the other night that people started making Youtube videos of them performing these songs.  I told you this in an obsession.

I like the songs, and I have shown them to some of my musician friends, and they have been very positive about them, which is strange.  To be honest, I shared the lyrics with them in hopes they would tell me they were stupid and to stop, haha, but that didn't happen.

What do you think?  Do you want them as they are done, or when the collections are fininshed?

Someone here is good at their job.

1 min read

Someone from the convention center saw that I had been sitting outside for a long time and offered me a seat in the restricted area, inside, in the air conditioning. 

I am glad someone here was willing to help. Now, I am seated behind white, yellow, and blue curtains. My back is finally relaxing a little. 

Crying in Arkansas

1 min read

i don't think I have ever been treated this bad in my life from people that wanted me to spend money with them. 

After putting us up in the world's worst hotel, where everything was either broken or crumbling. They lied about the buffet dinner. It was nothing but flavorless cheese and microwaveable egg rolls. The beds were insanely lumpy, and Brian and Jon snored all night keeping me from sleeping at all. 

I couldn't take a shower this morning because it was broken too of course. 

Now, we are at the food show itself, and the tables they promised are a lie. I have been insulted by the staff, and have to sit outside in the heat and humidity because my back is hurting too much to stand up. 

Brian and Jon are running around tasting things and I am trying to just calm down. It has been a long time since I have been this angry about anything. 

In large part, that is why I am writing this. Writing makes the feelings go away. This is no way to run a business.